From Bill Sell

OffRamp: Declaration of Independence

Published in the Bay View Compass, September 2005

Declaration of Independence

July 4, 2008. The President, George W. Bush:

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a government to take uncommon action to assure victory over its enemies and to guarantee survival of the republic itself, some may suggest that the government must explain its actions. So, to all who will listen we proclaim:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all nations are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these is the right to regulate life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

To secure these rights nations institute governments that derive their power from the taxes of the governed.

When government fails, it is the duty of the government to revise itself, so as to guarantee the safety and happiness of all men. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not change themselves for light and transient causes.

But when world-wide protest about this God-fearing government evinces a design to upend the divine plan, the duty of the righteous is clear. Eight years of patient sufferance by your God-given government has come to this necessity: to dissolve the people.

The usurpation of the government by unruly crowds in the streets is a rising threat and, with that, no plan to improve the safety of anyone. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

Local governments eschew the Patriot Act, that most necessary tool for the public safety.

Parents assemble in violation of the national emergency.

They declare themselves weary of the war while their own children, some of whom have nobly perished, volunteer for this holy crusade.

They burn their children’s military conscription orders and thereby give aid and comfort to the enemy.

Parish churches, long the ally in our crusade against terror, now harbor young people who flee military service.

The people pick and choose the deaths of selected soldiers for their grieving and thereby scorn the president who must regard all casualties equally.

They object to the reduction of veteran benefits even while we assure the nation a long-standing supply of veterans.

Others may be childless not by war but through unpatriotic birth control.

They protest tax cuts for the ruling class, those citizens who do not need government and have little use for taxes.

They rally at the occasional disappearance of a citizen and confound America’s war on terror with their importunate pleadings before the courts.

While our government has left no stone unturned to bridle the authority of the judiciary, the people block our appointments with a perplexing skepticism of our intentions.

In every stage of these protests we have petitioned in the most humble terms for understanding of our noble goals. These petitions have been answered by growing protests surely destructive of a free society. Government cannot survive egregious insult and as proof we refer to the original Declaration of Independence about a ruler whose character is sullied by every act that may define a tyrant.

Therefore, to preserve the authority of the office of the presidency, we, the President and cabinet, in the presence of the Supreme Court, the Congress, and the clergy of the Republican National Church, do, in the name, and by authority of God-Almighty, whom we all fear, solemnly publish and declare that this government is, and of right ought to be free; that we are absolved from allegiance to the people; and that as a free government we have the full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, enfranchise selected voters, and to do all things which national governments claim the right to do.

Therefore, to maintain the authority to prevail we do now hereby and forever dissolve the people.

With faith in our founding fathers’ clear intentions, we hereby re-establish the original Constitution and abolish all amendments thereto, among them the so-called Bill of Rights. With a firm reliance on our recess-appointed judiciary, we pledge in our providential third term to stay the course.

God has blessed America.

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